Solitude ... the new normal | Day 1
Dear Socially Distant Society,
We’re living in an unprecedented time. Normal life is being turned topsy turvy. We’re being forced to live day by day and minute by minute. Life is increasingly undefined. We’re hungry for connection and normalcy, but unfamiliar with the new normal: solitude.
A few years ago, I went through one of the most confusing times of my life. There was no global pandemic, but there was a personal, soul earthquake of sorts. I had lost sight of purpose, business was failing, friends had left me or pulled away with no reason. It felt like my life was crumbling. All of the sudden I felt the void surround me. All these changes sent shock waves through my personal foundation exposing cracks and instability in my thinking and my grip on life, relationships and purpose. It seemed it was all slipping away, out of my control. To get even more real it revealed idols in my life that had subtly and slowly pulled my affection and contentment from God and focused it on people and things.
I deeply needed recognition and titles, thinking it would bring ultimate validity and identity.
I used and idolized friendship because it made me feel valuable and affirmed me in my identity.
Suddenly, I had no option but God. At first I was upset because it exposed the false self, but eventually I found myself face down before Him refusing to agree with shame, crying out in desperation for answers. “God, what is going on?” “What did I do wrong?” “I’m so confused. Why is this happening?” I felt I heard God say, “Don’t seek answers, seek Me.”
“Don’t seek answers. Seek Me.”
It hit me deep. I know it might be an unfamiliar concept, but this pursuit of God changed my life. It exposed that my identity was half-baked causing any connections to be unstable, built upon sand and easily washed away. And so I held tight to things in an effort to feel in control. So instead of seeking connection with people in this phase of life I let go and I sought connection with God. I pursued being near Him. I mean this when I say it: my life forever changed. I may have been disconnected from people, but my connection with God and my identity was secured. From that void is where God developed my heart not only for stable connection, but also to help others develop a rhythm of disconnection and solitude. And years later, God has restored those friendships I thought were lost. And that business I thought was falling apart … is now soaring. And all of this not because of anything I did, but because everything I do is now built on a firm, tested foundation of identity and purpose.
A phrase that has really connected with me on this is: “You can’t truly connect until you’ve been pressure tested in solitude.”
“You can’t truly connect until you’ve been pressure tested in solitude.”
The wilderness was a common, sacred place Jesus sought and found himself in often, and it became a familiar friend personally for me in that season and ever since. I’ve embraced it as a life discipline and a season. It was a place Jesus realigned His identity and heart with His Father, God. As a society, we may not have sought this solitude, but I’d encourage you to embrace the undefined of life right now and see this as a gift. I’m reminded of the words from Brian Johnson that have stuck with me ever since: “Consider it a gift when God is your only option.”
“Consider it a gift when God is your only option.”
I can’t help but see what we’re in the middle of as a society as an opportunity to pursue God in private and with your families or housemates. Put down the phones, turn off the TVs and cut out other frivolous distractions, and allow Him to strengthen the foundation of your purpose and identity. AND THEN, and only from that place, CREATE and CONNECT. Write, sing, learn, paint, read, develop.
People have said there will be a lot of pregnancies in this season, but I believe there will be more births. Births of dreams, ideas, businesses, books, songs, movies and art. Use the space we’ve all been given as a launching pad for your dreams and ideas and as a space to encourage those dreams in your close relationships too. Don’t waste this season.
Embrace this solitude we’ve found ourselves in and the undefined time we live in as a stress test of your identity that develops a deeper trust in God.
Just remember it like a skyscraper. You have to dig deep to build high and so too with us. Seek God and allow Him to do dirty work in this time of digging and excavating and uncovering your heart. Cause that’s what The Wilde is all about.
If you want to connect or chat about your dream, send me an email or leave a comment. I’d love to help however I can.
Sincerely,
Your Wilderness Guide